Saturday, 27 October 2012

Runners, I Covet Thee...

Have you been running?  Maybe you've just run a marathon?  Or you just love getting outside and running--just because?  I'm envious of you.

Sure, I run, too.


At 5 am and in the dark.

But I haven't been keeping up with it.  Or lifting weights.  Or much of anything at all.  And all this NOT working out is stressing me out.  Because I feel guilty that I'm just not doing enough of....anything.  I really feel like I should buy me some kettle bells   But who am I kidding?  I hate working out in my basement.  I hate staring at the walls while I do the same thing over and over and over.  I've said it before; I have a VERY short attention span.  So the kettle bells idea, while good for someone else, for me is just an excuse to not work out some more, because I don't have any, and I'd have to go shopping for some instead of just working out, right?

So they say too much running is bad for you now.  Well, not running enough is bad for you too, you know, because if I went out and tried to run a marathon tomorrow, I WOULD JUST DIE.  So there, marathons can kill.  Exercise can kill.  I should just stay home and sit very still so that I remain safe....  Oh, that's my inner lazy speaking, and it's done too much of the talking lately and for totally stupid reasons, I seem to have been listening.  The really lazy part of my brain was secretly wishing I had some kind of adrenal issue going on, so I could blame all this non-exercise on something.  Yea, I can see right through that excuse, too.

These excuses weren't getting me anywhere I wanted to be.

So I took to my closet to think this one out.  Hey, I have a big closet.  It's perfect for thinking in.  And as I hunkered down with a handful of forbidden ju jubes, it dawned on me.  Whaaat?  You don't hunker down in a closet with ju jubes for thinking?  Don't judge me.  It's perfectly normal in my house.  My daughter says so.  She consoled me after I ate the ju jubes, saying, "Don't worry mom, I've sat in your closet and eaten ju jubes, too."  She has a lifetime history of hunkering down in closets.  That's just her thing.  And that IS where I hid the ju jubes that the orthodontist gave me.  Isn't that where bad food belongs?  In your bedroom closet behind the fancy shoes and sewing kit?  Huh.  Well, that's where I hide mine so if you ever want to rob me, the ju jubes are in the closet, ok?  Funny thing is, I hate candy.  Really, I do.  So that's how much this new level of sloth was bothering me.  Or how hungry I was when I entered the closet.  You decide.  Either way, the ju jubes are almost gone.  Maybe I shouldn't think so hard when I'm hormonal.  Don't worry.  I don't actually like candy enough to want to buy any more. Sh!t happens.  I shouldn't have them in my house, and yet can't work up the nerve to throw them out.

So I had to take matters into my own hands on the exercise issue and change something.  This non-exercise state just wasn't working for me.

So I broke down and I called a running club.  Yea, I did it.  Excessive cardio-schmardio.  I have to DO enough cardio before it can actually be called EXCESSIVE.  I'm hoping the social atmosphere will get me hooked.  I am a social creature, after all.  The best part is that I get to bring my dog.  That'll be fun until - squirrel! - No, seriously, the dogs are trained to run with me.  We've done that plenty of times, maybe hundreds of times.  Combined, the two dogs outweigh me, but they know better.  My shepherd has pretty dysplastic hips, so anything over 5km is out of the question for her.  She'll be pretty pissed to be left behind, though.

Know what's really sad?  I've run so little over the summer that I'm struggling to do a continuous 5km run.  I sound like a big ole' asthma attack.  So I have to run with the "No One Gets Left Behind" crowd.  Yea.  Beginning Running 101 all over again.  It's more than a little embarrassing.  But anything is better than nothing, and we all have to start somewhere.  So I'm starting HERE.

Beware--this is how us slower runners see the rest you...
Do you ever get tired of your workout routine and need a change?  I tend to change things up every few months.  I just get bored.  Now, with winter coming, running is about the only thing I'll be able to do outside on a regular basis.  Running in -20 is a whole different animal and if I'm going to get outside then, I have to start working on it now.

I've run with the running group from Running Free a couple of times now--and yup, I'm hooked.  On my second run, I explained to the instructor that I was working my way up to running with the 7-km group, so he said to me, "I'll let you set the pace, then" and without saying so, he turned my 5km beginner run into an almost 6km non-stop run because I wasn't complaining.  So, yea, group running WORKS!  There's something about having a group of witnesses that pushes you to go further and faster than you would on your own.  So who knows?  Maybe one day I will be a marathoner.  But not this winter.  I just want to get back to a place where I can call myself a runner without snickering, and without ju jubes.  (Don't worry, I'm off them now).

What do you do to alleviate the boredom of exercising?  Are you a social exerciser, or a loner?  Let me know!  I love comments.


  1. Ha Ha how ironic I just finished a handfull of jube jubes after googling how bad they were I came across this page.
    I also am a runner. at 24 I ran a marathon 3:30:36 so now at age 55 I want to do it again.
    Am I crazy,,,,,wait you tell me.
    Started July 30 2012 at 280 lbs yep thats right
    could,nt run more than 400 yards at once now 240
    running 5km at a time now. Goal 190lbs Marathon by Nov 2012. Yea i.m a bit nuts but who isnt!

  2. Lol, jujubes are an achilles heal, for sure. Marathon by Nov 2013--right? It's a typo? I wish you success! I'm not certain where my running will take me. I'd like to say a marathon, next year. Right now, my only ambition is to one day keep up with the running group--they are all marathoners and run like herbivores evading a T-Rex. They run as a pack and move at the speed of light, lol!

    1. Yes Yes Nov 2013 I am crazy but not quite stupid lol